Photos by Lloyd Brown, Stadium Journey
Stadium Info FANFARE Score: 3.86
Snow Globe Stadium 1225 Holiday Lane North Pole, Top of the World
Year Opened: 2023
Capacity: 150,000 (elves)
The Stadium Claus(e)
In a town known for making wishes come true, this is one that is too big for even Santa’s bag to hold. First, Snow Globe Stadium signed its first naming rights deal with Santa’s, Inc., a privately held company that has its home base at the North Pole. The signing was a key move, as it allowed for the construction of a new home stadium for the Saint Nick State University (SNSU) Saints. The stadium was ready in time for the 2023 football season. The new stadium’s construction cost was also funded by a huge new broadcasting deal with ESPN (Elves Sports Programming Network). The Saint's old stadium had been around “forever”, and was showing its age, as it lacked the amenities frozen fans have come to expect.
In connection with the new stadium’s opening, The Saints moved up a wrung in the NCAA’s level of competition. They formerly played at the FCS (Father Christmas Status) level of play, and now will compete in the newly formed SAC (Santa Athletic Conference), which is legendary for its defensive style of play, as well as for delivering gifts under the tree. The new conference is a result of the recent fallout involving all the major football conferences. Teams in the new conference include LSU (Leave the Stockings Up), Sleigh State University, Austin Pay by Layaway, and Slippery Rock (because it’s icy, stupid!).
The new Santa’s Snow Globe Stadium will offer many new features both on and off the field designed to maintain the Saint's 100% winning percentage in home games. First, new chillers have been installed to make it comfortable for the fans and hazardous for the visiting teams. In the past, the 100,000 elf boosters, students, and parents had complained about the former stadium’s gameday temps of 72 degrees. (have you ever smelled 100,000 sweaty elves?). A new frozen tundra turf has also been installed. It can be moved mid-game to wherever the visiting team is on offense… giving the Saints defense a big edge. We will discuss other new amenities in other sections of this review.
The Saints will be bringing back most of their starting lineup, as they do every year (where else are you going to go when you live at the North Pole?) The Saint's offense has been upgraded by the arrival of stud running back Rudolf Reindeer through the transfer portal. Rudolph figures to “light up” the new videoboard/scoreboard frequently each season. Rudolph was attracted to SNSU by the huge NIL opportunities (Santa is a well-connected alum) at the school, which will bring him lots of cold cash.
Food & Beverage 4
Snowbucks was brought in as the new manager for the upgraded food and beverage program at Santa’s Snow Globe Stadium. The stand offers chocolate chip cookies, peppermint bark, gingerbread, Christmas hams, cranberry sauce, candy canes, and sno cones.
Beverages include hot cocoa, milk, egg nog, Red Reindeer energy drinks, RC (Really Cold) colas, frozen coffee, and Icee’s. Adult beverages are also available for the first time at Santa’s Snow Globe Stadium. It offers 2% beers (it doesn’t take much for the elves to get wasted), candy cane champagne, jingle juice punch, pumpkin spice toddies, and several Christmas ales.
Water is not available, as it would freeze before you get back to your seat.
The fruitcake stand has been dropped from the food offerings, as nobody seemed to want it. The remaining stock of fruitcakes was donated as building material to the local Habitat for Humanity chapter.
Atmosphere 5
As you can imagine, there’s always a festive atmosphere at a SNSU Saints game. The sleigh gating starts well before kickoff, with the elf families putting out an impressive set of holiday favorites for their pregame celebrations. Decorating your sleigh gate is also important, as there is a competition for the best use of lights and greenery for all of your settings. The stadium has also added a snowball-hole competition to the pregame activities.
Once inside the stadium, it’s hard to miss the new 5,000-foot flat-screen TV videoboard that Santa, Inc. has delivered to the new venue. It features the top plays from the reindeer games throughout the league, as well as sideline reports from the frozen tundra. The Reindeer Rooter elves love to cheer when a referee throws a penalty lump of coal against the visiting teams, as it means they have been bad, so the elves have one less house to prepare gifts for delivery.
Santa’s Snow Globe Stadium has also increased its seating for persons with special needs. They now realize that normal-sized people need much wider seating than their elfin fanbase, and have provided expanded seats as a result. Earphones are provided as well, as UN translators are brought in to announce the games in all the languages used by customers of Santa’s Inc.
Santa’s Snow Globe Stadium has increased its premium options for its most loyal customers. The Presents Box offerings seating with the Boss himself. Typically, this includes toy manufacturing execs, luxury sleigh franchisees, and other fat cats. The Reindeer Rooter’s Party Suites offers participants an all-inclusive experience featuring food, beverages, entertainment, deluxe seating, and close-in parking for their sleighs.
You don’t want to leave your seat at halftime, as the Marching Tin Soldiers put on a precision marching performance that is on par with that college band out of College Station, Texas. They also play Christmas favorites during breaks in the action. Their dance team is extraordinary, especially doing the kick line.
The week of the Homecoming game is especially colorful at the North Pole. The entire town takes part in a Northern Lights competition, which also includes an ice sculpturing event as well.
Neighborhood 5
Santa’s Snow Globe Stadium is located on the SNSU campus. It is surrounded by the major schools at SNSU, including the schools of Toy Technology, Presents Distribution Systems, and Bad/ Good Information Technology.
For the most part, the North Pole is a company town, but there is plenty for visitors to do while they are in the area. The stadium’s spirit shop is open throughout the year. It looks like an FAO Swartz toy store and offers a wide selection of Santa, Inc. swag.
Dining options in the area range from the Michelin List-rated Ruth’s Christmas Steak House and Wolfgang Ice Puck’s Spago to the moderately priced Chilly’s. Fans on a limited budget will find numerous outlets of the Mexican food chain Jingle Bell in the area. For a pre- or post-game drink check out local favorite Blitzen’s Bar and Grill, which offers a wide variety of Christmas craft brews.
Lodging is restricted to Holiday Inn affiliates by local ordinance. They are plentiful, as you know who is the franchise owner in the area.
Fans 4
The stands are filled with a sea of green and red-clad elves for every SNSU game, as most of Santa’s Inc. workforce are alumni of either SNSU or its sister campus, Toy Technology Tech. All employees are given the day off to attend the games, as they deserve a break from the hectic pace of the toy assembly line prior to Christmas. The elves are well-behaved and welcoming to visitors, as you know who’s in the owner’s box, looking out for who has been bad. You don’t want to be on the boss’ naughty list!
When the Saints are doing well on the field, you can hardly hear the announcements. The fans here love to shake their jingle bells to support the home team. Think of it as a northern version of the Mississippi State cowbells. After the Saints score, the fans sing the theme from “Frozen”, the school’s fight song.
Access 3
Despite all the new features at Santa’s Snow Globe Stadium, access is a major concern for visiting fans, as travel to the new venue is difficult. You’ll still need a snowmobile, a mush team of dogs, or a ride with the Ice Road Truckers to get around town.
Air travel in and out of the North Pole is quite limited, especially for late-season games. This is because airspace around the North Pole is not controlled by the FAA. The North Pole International Airport (NPIA) runways are clogged with both Sledex and Amazon cargo flights throughout the year. In addition, NPIA airport has a much stricter security apparatus than the TSA…. if you’ve been bad… you are not getting in!
If you do manage to get to the North Pole, just follow these easy directions:
1) Just keep heading north
2) Head over the river and through the woods to Snow Globe Stadium we go…...!
Once at the stadium, you should not have to deal with emptying pockets or going through scanners at the gates. Security already knows if you’ve been bad or good… for goodness sake.
We also had to grade down the new stadium due to issues involving the restrooms. Since 95% of the fans are elves, the urinals are all very low. Ask the usher in your seating section where the nearest “super-size” restrooms are.
Return on Investment 2
A visit to the North Pole and Santa’s Snow Globe Stadium is obviously a “dream destination” for most fans. As we’ve mentioned earlier, airfares are very high due to the limited number of flights to the area.
Ticket prices are also very high for visiting fans. This is due to the limited number of games played at home by the SNSU Saints. The Saints are not eligible for post-season play due to restrictions from their move up to the SAC, and the fact that everybody at the North Pole is busy getting ready for Christmas in December and handling returns and exchanges in January.
Just remember all the happiness and goodwill you experienced during your visit…. until the bill comes in January!
Extras 4
The new Snow Globe Stadium will not feature the low-altitude flyovers by Santa’s Sleigh, as it was found to cause cracks in the globe in the old stadium. Instead, the Good Boy and Girl blimp will fly over the action.
During the off-season, Santa’s Snow Globe Stadium hosts the St. Elsewhere Film Festival, where every episode of the series is shown.
The new Santa’s Snow Globe Stadium has also upgraded its safety and security elements. Snowballs can still be thrown in the stadium; however, rocks cannot form the interior of the snowball. Better marked sidewalks and crosswalks have been added outside of the stadium, after the tragic accident involving Grandma getting run over by a reindeer at the former stadium. Santa, Inc. has also been signed up as the stadium’s security provider. It has a world-class database of who is bad or good anywhere in the world.
The elfin staff at Santa’s Snow Globe Stadium strives to provide a unique experience for every fan. There is a commitment from top management (you know who) to the ushers, snowmobile parking attendants, ticket takers, and concession workers to make sure you are happy.
Final Thoughts
Christmas came early to the North Pole this year, as the brand-new Santa’s Snow Globe Stadium opened in time for the 2023 football season. It offers many more premium experiences than its predecessor. Attending a Saint Nick State football game in person will definitely get you into the Christmas spirit!
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